5 Ways to Build a Friendship with Brazilian People

Brazil, people, friends, friendship

This is an actual picture of some friends of mine in Florianópolis, Brazil.

When many people think “Brazil”, they think about amazing, open and all around friendly people who wish for nothing less then to show their huge smiles and hospitality.

I don’t disagree with that in any way, Brazilian people are some of the most amazing and caring people I have ever met in my life – and for me, one of the main reasons as to why I love the country.

They are an especially diverse group of people as well who can claim roots from all corners of the world.  Check out this little video with a slide show, showing the diversity of Brazilians (it has some cool music too):

But Brazilian people are culturally very different to many of us (even if we identify with their culture) and if we don’t learn to see eye-to with them, this difference could cause a lot of unintended confusion, misunderstandings and conflict in the long run.

For this reason, I am going to give you 5 easy replicable tips you can utilize in order to build a lasting and functional friendship with a Brazilian.  I am basing these 5 tips on what I have learned myself and what people have told me that has worked for them.

Disclaimer: no one person is alike and I cannot guarantee you that my advice will give you a great friendship.  A great friendship with Brazilian people takes time, investment and sacrifice – and this is true for any relationship.

1.  Investing Carefully

Brazilians are super friendly and pleasant people to be around, but some may unfortunately be out to benefit from you.  You know, people who just hang around waiting to pounce on an opportunity to get something out of you.

So you have to be careful to weed these types of people out from the ones who truly want to invest in a friendship.

How do you avoid being taken advantage of?

Here is how you do it:

First: take it easy and understand that people are just open and friendly (which is a wonderful thing!) and don’t expect to notice right away if there are some bad seeds in the batch.  As time goes on, you will spot them quickly and avoid learning the hard way.

Second: Give it time and see who is really interested in a friendship and watch out for these people who just want to use you as you will find many who associate a foreigner with being a huge field of opportunities.

These people can be tricky sometimes to weed out, but generally they are the ones who hang around and are always asking about “how they can XXXX” or “how we can XXX” or “how you can help them to XXX”.

It’s generally pretty easy to spot these types of people as they are only interested in taking.  But if you are having a hard time spotting them and figuring out how to do so, here are a couple of helpful “careful’s” for testing the person:

  • Careful in letting them free-load
  • Careful in loaning them any money
  • Careful about giving them rides unless they split the gas
  • Careful about loaning things

Not that I’m trying to bad mouth anyone or focus on the negative, but all to many times I have been in uncomfortable situations where people did everything they could in order to benefit from me.  But as soon as I was more careful with free-loading or “borrowing” money, the problems pretty much went away.

So I have a general rule of thumb that goes like this “Only giving, loaning or allowing them to be advantageous from me until after they have proven that they are trustworthy”.

Make sure that you find people who are willing to give and take because friendship is a two way street.

There are tons of amazing Brazilian people out there and by following the above advice, you will have an amazing friendship with them!

2.  How to Commit in a Friendship

Breaking the ice with a Brazilian person is actually quite easy.  Most of the time they will come up to you wherever you may be and commence friendly conversation.

But how do you sort out friendly Brazilian people from the Brazilian people who want to be your committed friend?

I’m glad you asked!

This is actually a quite tricky thing for us more “cold cultured” people.  Many times, we find someone we identify with and believe we could have a functional friendship with and begin pursuing.  We pursue them with the mutual understanding that they want to pursue us as friends as well.

In Brazil, people are friendly in general and very open and hospitable.  This is a great thing but we have to be careful as foreigners not to confuse openness and hospitality as being people wanting to establish lifelong and lasting friendships.

What did you think the first time you were greeted with a couple of kisses on the check?

My personal experience when coming to Brazil was total and utter sensory overload!  I got to the point of freaking a bit out due to the fact that there were so many people pursuing me and I didn’t have the energy or resources to pursue them back.  And this isn’t to say that I’m special and people flock to me, it says more about the friendliness and approachability of Brazilian people.

So with no more hesitation and to answer the original question, here are a few types of friendships and the level of commitment:

Just a Buddy

These are the most common types of friendships you have in Brazil (and cool ones): the guy you exchange pleasantries with at the bakery, the guy that offers you a beer at the beach or the women who chit chats with you at the local “feira” (local market).

This is because these are your hangout buddy’s or people you casually encounter around the city.  You are on the surface friendly with them, but there is no commitment with these type of people.  They are there to make day-to-day living more pleasant and don’t have any expectations of you.

A Committed Friend

People who invite you over, who you can call up and ask for favors and them you, and where there is a general sense of well being and give and take; this is my definition of a committed friend.

These are usually the types of buddies who end up developing into better friends but not to the sense where you confide everything in them and them in you.

I personally have many types of these friends, there could easily go a month between us conversing but it’s as if there hadn’t gone over a month when we talk or see each other again.  They don’t get mad at me for not calling or pursuing them, as they don’t do the same either.

Good friend commitment

So, what does a good friendship look like? In my opinion, it is a friendship where you call on each other regularly and where there is an expectation that you care for their well being in general and reciprocity on that level.

These types of friendships are those who are developed over time and those that will possibly last forever as they take a lot of investment and maintenance to upkeep.

If you are looking for a good Brazilian friend, then become buddies with some; let it develop into a general friendship and after some time, the good friends will stand out from the normal friends.

3.  Pursuing a Friendship

How much should you pursue a Brazilian compared to a cold-cultured person (or colder person than a Brazilian)?

Much more.

In our colder environments, people have a level of respect for each other’s personal space.  We tend to expect that there is a mutual understanding surrounding the whole concept of knowing limits of personal space, what’s ours vs. there’s, being on time and a person of our word etc.

This doesn’t so much apply when you are friends with a Brazilian.  One thing you need to understand is that Brazilians are very open and warm people.  This means that they don’t internalize as much about things and there is this idea that a friend should always heavily influence decisions and actions of another friend, as this is what is expected.

The more you invade personal space, share things and have a relaxed position about time, the more of a friend you are.  So don’t be afraid when a Brazilian person takes a shower at your place and uses your shampoo, raids your cupboards and keeps pushing you to do things and influence you about decisions.  This is just a sign that you are doing well and he/she is pursuing your friendship.

4.  How to Maintain a Friendship

In Brazil, maintaining a friendship is done differently than in cold countries.  It requires that you, like above, pursue them a lot, are spontaneous and help each other out a lot.

In my opinion, there is a lot of spontaneity in a friendship – not a whole lot of planning and therefore the same is expected of you as well.  Imagine having planned to hang out at home with your girlfriend/wife and all of the suddon, your friends call you up and ask if they can come over or do something else.  The normal reaction would be to have them come over or go out and meet with them.

This was always a difficult area for me due to the fact that I wanted to plan things better to get things done more efficiently.  In the end I had to learn to be more flexible for a friendship to function.

You need to be ready to do a lot of helping in your friendship as well.  Since Brazil is all about whom you know in order to get things done, it is of vital importance that you have good friends who can help you out when you are in need.

Let’s say that (like what happened to me) you have been waiting ages for your visa and no one is being helpful at the Federal Police and you walk around clueless for ages, what do you do?  Well, tell your friends about your situation and ask if they know anyone who can help.

In my case, a friend of mine had a good contact right in the head office where visas are approved and denied in Brasilia.  In that way I was able to get a status and reference numbers to show the authorities so things could happen.

This will likewise be expected of your friend, that maybe you have contacts in high places or resources that can help them get things done.

5.  If Things go Wrong

If for some reason things seem to go south in your friendship, how do you deal with it?

First make sure that you bring up any conflict or issue with your friend.  It could be that you try and confront them but it seems that they wont pick up the phone or return your calls.  This doesn’t mean that you should stop trying, it just means that he/she doesn’t want to be confronted with the uncomfortable situation.

This is ingrained into the Brazilian culture where everything is about comfort and enjoyment, and where the word “no” is hardly used, so it’s natural that people try and avoid difficult situations knowingly or not.

But when you finally get ahold of the person, you don’t want to just lay into them directly with the issue.  This is a common cold cultured tactic: the non-beating around the bush way of speaking very direct to your friend.  In Brazil, people do just the opposite and often get very offended if you speak harshly or direct.

So deal with difficult situations by speaking based on how you feel and what you observe.  Try and focus on an issue and not directing comments at the person to resolve it.

Final Words

Like I mentioned before, Brazilian people are amazing and true warm-hearted treasures.  They are what makes living in and travelling to Brazil so wonderful and what keeps my passion for the country alive.

So when you find a good Brazilian friend, do everything you can to hold onto it and cherish them.  It will enrich your life in so many unexplainable ways and contribute to making you a more open and warm-hearted person as well.

What has your experience with Brazilian people friendships been?  Feel free to post your comments below.

If you enjoyed this post, please share and like it – thanks! :)

Cheers – valeu!

Kevin

  • Mayira

    I love brazil…. love love love I live in new york and sao paulo in brazil is much better! I LOVE FOREVER BRAZIL … THE BRAZILIAN GIRLS ARE THE BEST GIRLS ON THE WORLD I LOVE THE FUNK THE SAMBA THE CARNIVAL THE PEOPLE , THE FOOD’S

    BRAZIL IS GOOD GOOD GOOD THE BEACHES IS GOOD TOO

  • Shaun A. Erickson

    I agree with you. I’ve traveled a lot around the world, but I can tell you Brazilians are the funniest, friendliest, most passionate, kindest and most beautiful people I’ve ever met. They LOVE to party, party, party. The girls are just so beautiful, out of this world. They have a passion for life you won’t see anywhere else. They will go above and beyond to help you and make you feel at home. You won’t feel homesick and as a matter of fact, you will feel like not wanting to never leave the country. My best memories of traveling I have are from Brazil. Once you get a good Brazilian friend, it’ll be for life. They won’t judge you and will always be supportive. If you want to let loose and be happy, you gotta go there!

    • Paula Herrmann

      Tive que usar o Google tradutor para compreender tudo o que disseste E me emocionou a forma carinhosa que tu falaste da minha casa!obrigada pelo carinho Erickson.

  • Marysneila Bessa

    Hi Kevin..I’m Brazilian and I appreciated your post…Thanks :D

  • Anisog Esog

    Whoa!, Kevin, your article is super awesome!! I totally
    agree with you. Brazilian people are amazing and true
    warm-hearted treasures. About 4 months ago a Brazilian
    guy sent me a friend request on facebook. Even I haven’t
    met him in person, I know he’s amazing, funny, smart and
    much more.

    “I wouldn’t trade him for the world, not for all the coffee in Brazil!” :)
    He’s the reason I’ve been learning Portuguese right now.
    Right now I have 3 wonderful friends on facebook.
    I am sure I’m gonna visit Brazil someday, but first I have
    to find out if there’s a Brazilian community in Munich…

    VIVA BRAZIL..

    Gosina from Germany

  • Philip

    Fantastic, detailed article. All the joy and befuddlement I’ve experienced combined with good advice. Many thanks.

  • Renata

    Well, as a Brazilian I can say that your text sounds very strange, very serious to me. For us, friendships are simpler. When it is an extrovert, you get to know many people, those with which it has affinity and trust end up becoming “committed friends”.

    I read, like art, good music, philosophy, things of a “cultured person”,and I’m not cold, I love partying and meeting new people.

  • Vicomte

    Hi Kevin,
    I have been in Brazil for 4 months and I spent one year in another South American country. Contrary to what many people say, I’am very disappointed by these people’s culture that I find very difficult to understand. How can you explain the fact that you have neighbours or classmates you talk to frequently, but out of your school or your place, they ignore you and don’t say hello?

    How to know that they really want to do what they say? Many people promise you things you didn’t ask while they don’t have any intention to do them? Is lying not a bad thing in their culture? Why this discrimination based on the nationality? In any country you have rich, poor, bad and good people, why this focus on where you are from instead of who you are? The question “De onde você é” is not neutral (you are American and cannot perceive it). In love matters, how to guess that a girl is interested in you? You can meet an unknown girl in the street or in your neighbourhood who smiles at you with insistance, you try to become friend with her, she accepts to go out, at a restaurant with you, but doesn’t want any love affair?

    • Uly [Lily]

      well, there is uneducated people everywhere around the world. So don’t say all of us are uneducated just because you met a few who are.
      Yes, lying is a bad thing in our culture (I think it is, at least). And I never saw anyone discriminating people because of their nationality. Of course we probably have some inaccurate ideas about other cultures (like the world have of us) but I wouldn’t go as far as saying we discriminate people.
      And finally, we go out (as in going to a restaurant to dinner or lunch) with friends around here, so maybe your intentions weren’t clear enough for the girl and she thought you only wanted to be friends. Or she didn’t like the date (that’s also a possibility).

      • Vicomte

        I’am not saying all Brazilians are uneducated. I don’t even say they are uneducated. But out of 10 Brazilians you meet, 8 or 7 behave as I described. In my case, I can say all Brazilians I have tried to make friendship with have told me lies, gave me a false impression of their thoughts. They smiled while in their hearts they were angry against me. They said “yes” and later on I discovered it was “no”. The worse thing is that even employees from a serious company selling me their services took commitments to do things, they never did them and never apoligised for this inconvenience.

        Moreover, I’am not saying anything in bad faith. I have lived on all continents and I tell you what I have noticed in Brazil and in Latin America in general. I think in all languages, when you meet someone for the first time, a foreigner or not, you should first introduce yourself: “Hi, I’am Joe, what is your name?”. You can then talk about your professions and hobbies, looking at interests you share. A true friendly person will help a foreigner, whatever his/her nationality to adjust to his/her a new city or country by inviting him/her to his/her home (even if s/he has nothing to offer), events, parties, by introducing him/her positively to other people in order to help him/her make friends. A true friendly and open-minded person ask a foreigner’s nationality to know more about this country’s culture and realities, without prejudices. It’s for a cultural exchange.

        You say Brazilians don’t discriminate people. On the surface, it’s what they try to show the world, but more deeply it’s not as such. 98% of Brazilians or Latinos you meet for the first time don’t care about who you are, but are eager to know where you are from. I’am an educated African with a middle class standard of living here in Brazil. Given the cost of living here, I live two or three times better in my country (or at least I save a lot of money in housing, food and many other things). I have been in Brazil for more than 4 months now and still can’t have a friend. I spent one year in another South American country and it was the same thing. When a Brazilian or Latino hears you are from Africa, he loses any interest about you. So, the questions “De onde você é”, “De dónde eres” are only precautions to avoid to waste their time interacting with people who are not from their “paradises”. How can people still be so closed-minded with all sources of information that are available nowadays (Internet, cable TV, travellers from the said countries, etc.)? You would say perhaps it’s my bad luck, but there are many other people from developing countries
        who face the same problem. The question “Where are you from?” is an intelligent way to discriminate people without drawing their attention. I have tested this by introducing myself with different nationalities and people’s reactions where different depending on each nationality I gave. But I’am not a liar. I’am an African and proud of it. When I see where I was born and what I have achieved compared to someone who was born is New York City and who is homeless there, I think people who respect him more than me just because he is from New York City are simply foolish. Have they heard for example about Fançafrica? Do they know that late President Bongo of Gabon was sponsoring French politicians like former French presidents Jacques Chirac or Nicolas Sarkozy? But Omar Bongo was from Gabon, a “poor” country. Do they know that Africa is the richest continent in terms of natural resources? Do they know that today, if we stop exchanges between countries and ask each country to live only on its true wealth, the majority of African countries will not have serious problems, but the so-called rich countries will be the ones running after Africans because they have wiped out their natural resources? Many of them don’t produce a drop of oil and have freezing weathers in the winter. How would they survive? People should bear in mind that money is NOT wealth as such, it’s only a means of exchange. If you are locked up in a room with only bank notes and coins, how can you survive? You can break a bank and become rich in terms of bank notes in a few minutes, but you cannot steal or transfer oil, diamond, gold reserves, fertile soils and forests from one country to another. THIS IS THE TRUE WEALTH. For biaised people who really want to know the truth, they should just read and watch what people from countries badly publicised in some medias say and think about themselves, visit these places, they are neither hells nor paradises as well as those presented as paradises on earth. ALMOST ALL COUNTRIES HAVE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES. The choice of a suitable place to live depends on each person’s needs. THERE IS NO HELL, NO PARADISE FOR ALL. I complaint about Brazil, but there are things that I like (not the job as many would think, I had my job before coming here and it does not depend on Brazil) in Brazil and that disappoint me in my country. That’s why I’am here.

        • Ivi

          Hello, Vicomte! First of all, I must say that as a brazilian person I am deeply sad to read that you’ve been through unpleasant situations related to our society and its components. I am truly sad because of that, it is not a lie, but I am also very impressed because you did not quit living in our country and your critics as foreigner are full of sense and mainly not offensive.

          Secondly, our social education is guided by the logic that the use of sincerity is not polite, therefore those people who are indeed lying for you in many aspects are not doing this on purpouse: They were taught to act this way, it is under what we define as correct social rules. Yes, it is weird and unecessary keeping this an habit and I totally support the use of sincerity and truth to deal with people, but this is not in brazilian cultural roots, and I hope this change your interpretation of those actions.

          Last, but not less important: Racism DOES exist and most people who live in here do not deny it. Some writers define Brazil saying that “there are many Brazils into one Brazil” and according to the place you are, people will react different to your presence and personality, being racist or not. No, Africa is not a well known continent for Brazilians, and during our education we only study about the question of the Apartheid. Remember that our educational system is not the best we have to offer, and many people don’t know about your place of origin not because they don’t studied but also because most part of the information they get comes from the television and Africa is not commonly showed in our media in any aspect, then people don’t know all of those things you listed above because the hunt for knowlegde is not common and those informations you told are not displayed out there by our media for many reasons. The impression that people have about Brazil is that we are free from racism because of our ethinic mixture and diversified composition of society, with indians, europeans, americans and others. This is a wrong though and you just need to ask a brazilian about this and they will not deny the existece of problems with prejudice.

          Thank you very much for balancing your critics in a way they sound truth and interessant for a brazilian, many foreigners don’t do that. Don’t forget that we may be the seventh biggest economy of the world, but on the other hand we remain a third world country: we have a brilliant economic and social future and we are growing in many aspects, but there are traces of ignorance, lacking of education and closed minds in our inhabitants. There are many wrong aspects that remain unsolved and lines of thought that should change but there are also people who, along with our country, are changing, and people who have a complete open mind, heart and intentions to its similars and newcomers. This is a third world country and this is exactly what Brazil is.

          • Vicomte

            Thank you very much for your honesty and for your understanding. For once, a Brazilian has explained to me this culture that has frustrated me a lot and it comforts me so much. Now, since in Brazil people are not obliged to respect promises or verbal commitments, how do you trust each other in these conditions? For example, someone gives me an appointment a given day and at a given time, how can I know that s/he is not lying? How the Brazilians themselves react when someone tells them lies? Thank you once again for your reply.

          • Ivi

            Hello again! Deal with this kind of attitude demands a lot of interpretation and attention, but it is more simple rather than frustrating even if it seems the opposite. It varies from society and the kind of relation you have, but normally you pay attention to the person’s attitudes with others, and if she/he did something that unpleases you, you can obviously tell this person how impolite you think she/he was but being careful for not offending or complaining too much, this is the reason why sincerity is not valorized in here: most people, not to say everyone, get easily offended hearing the truth right away. Remeber there can be always exeptions and you may or may not find someone who choses being totally frank instead of spread white lies (which are not always white). There are different levels of trust and Brazilians tend to trust people the more they know them. Normally, in this example of the appointment, you can call the person one day before or hours before to confirm “Are you still up for today/tomorrow?” or even send a message, if the person accepts to go out but keep coming with excuses just in time you can also ask directly what is the meaning of that. Expressing politely that you have your feelings hurted and saying that you prefer to be treated honestly can also work.
            There are many reactions depending on how the person were affected to that lie, to what it meant to he/she. Normally we forgive fast, but not before a discussion and apologies, this behavior with little lies have its bad sides and that’s one of them: you never know how those things you say will sound tomorrow and how the person will interpret them later, some people are not as attentive as this habit demands. So lies have to be analysed so as people’s statements and attitudes. We brazilians do use our time to pay attention on each other. A society is what makes a country and my similars couldn’t be less than diverse, as everything here. Feel free to keep asking, I’m glad to help you.

          • Vicomte

            Hi Ivi,

            Thank you very much for your reply. Little by little, I’am starting to understand Brazilians, although I hate useless lies. For example, I have the case of the first girl I met here in Brazil. She seemed very friendly the first time I met her (probably because she thought I was from Canada and I told her the truth), but later on I noticed that she didn’t want to meet me again in spite of her apparent kindness. As I was new in the city, I asked her to help me discover the city. She accepted, but the day of the first appointment it rained and we could not go out. So she promised to catch up. Every time I contacted her talking about other things, she ended up inviting me to go out with her but on appointment days, always found an excuse in the last minute to cancel the appointment (sudden sickness, postponement of the appointment time). I understood that she was playing with me and I tried to make her face her lie by accepting all her conditions (meeting her at the centre of the city very late in the night). When the appointment time was approaching, she stopped answering my phone calls and never apologised. A few weeks ago, I contacted her on the Internet and she invited me again. I declined her invitation (reminding her of the other invitations cancelled) and told her that she was not obliged to invite me if it was not coming from her heart. She read my message, neither made a comment nor apologised. This girl represents many Brazilians I met. They try to show a positive image of themselves while their actions show their true personalities (the girl I’am talking about is a liar, hypocritical and probably racist). Do they think other people are foolish or blind to be unable to see this?

            Another problem I have is interpreting and understanding the attitude of people. I first leaved in what you call here a “pousada” with students before renting my own flat. Many of them used to greet me within the pousada, but outside they simply ignored me. The same thing applies to some employees who received me many times and very friendly at their offices or shops (they know me by my name or at least physically) but outside ignored me. I could not understand this attitude. I thought It were racism but two black ladies who received me many times at their offices behaved the same way. I thought it were cultural, but some people met me only once and greet me every time they see me. How can you explain this attitude?

            Finally, I’m single and I would be pleased to meet a pretty girl here. I’am someone very careful and before talking about my feelings to a girl, I try to guess her own feelings towards my person. Unfortunately, this exercise is very difficult here. In my culture, women are generally cold, except if they know you (colleagues, family members, and friends). Moreover, a woman recently met who smiles at you with insistance is a sign that she is probably attracted to you. To confirm this, you invite her to have a drink with you or at a restaurant or at another place (only you two and not as a group). If she accepts, you don’t have to bother ; it’s a confirmation that she also has feelings towards your person. Here, I have noticed that fake smiles are very frequent. There are commercial smiles: women smile at you in shops just to sell their products. I decided not to smile at Brazilian women in shops to avoid having false ideas. Other women smile at you hypocritically to cover up their racism and you discover their true face when you try to push your relationship further. So, in Brazil, what signs can show a foreigner that a woman is attracted to him? What precautions should a man take before telling a woman that he loves her, to avoid offending this person ? What time is necessary (in average) to get into a love relationship with a Brazilian girl? What do they like in a man? I have the impression that they focus on money and nationality, is it true?

            I hope to receive helpful anwers like the previous ones. Thank you very much in advance.

          • Ivi

            Hello again, Vicomte! Attitudes like this one you’ve mentioned are really common and not only foreigners are victims of this lacking of compromise, we call those people “sem noção” they have no commitment with anything but themselves, and although this might be common in Brazil, it is still considered a wrong action in here, a great lacking of good manners. The same situation happened with me a few times and I am brazilian, I hope you don’t think this is reserved to foreigners who are not used to our way of behave, I can say at least more than a half of the people I know have been through a situation similar or equal to yours, not to say everyone. What motivates those people to built those lies is unknown, but yes, probably they think people can’t see or are just as careless as them, and they don’t think, in my opinion, about others’ time, life and compromises. There are many people like this but there is also a majority that is not. You met anyone who does not behave like this?

            This attitude is probably the most variable of the brazilian way to behave, but what normally happens is people’s unsure if they should or should not greet you outside the place common for you both (of course they should, but not everyone thinks like this) if you remember them, if you also would greet them. What I do is to smile or wave at distance if I see someone from my school or my english course: I look at them, if they see me, I do those gestures I said, if I get no answer back, I don’t do it anymore when I meet them somewhere. Only if they change their reception, then I greet them again. But this is not racism at all, it is just a silly doubt that lives in people’s head, I know people from my own family who forget (or maybe don’t want) to greet me in other places, and there are friends of my friends whom I don’t even know properly, who always smile at me whenever they see me. Try paying attention on people’s first attitudes outside their normal place, and remember that they can be either insecure nor just unsympathetic.

            Then, opposite to the traditions of many countries, smiling at strangers is totally normal over here, and there is no apparent reason to this habit. These women who smiled at you to sell you something are trained for that by the stores and companies they work for, pleasing a costumer is really important and employees, mainly of shopping malls and restaurants are trained to behave almost completely nice to everyone at everytime, a bad critic to an employee’s behavior can result in his or hers demission.

            About relationships, this is a vast topic, before answering your questions about this, my tip is that you focus on finding men friends, instead of looking for a woman friend first, brazilian men are more easygoing and open minded than women in terms of friendships, of course there may be exceptions, but this is almost a general rule, with a group of male friends you can go out on the weekends to various places, depending of course of what does your city has to offer, moviment your social life is the best (and probably the only) way to meet many people from every kind, men and women. Brazilian men tend to be also very generous and sincere, since the society is more open to their attitudes. To your questions: Normally women tend to care a lot about someone she feels attracted to, this is what happens here, if they frequently approach you to talk and ask about your day and job or even having a small talk, this shows that she may have an interest. Telling you love someone is not offensive, and if you tell it to someone who does not feel the same you will not hurt this person’s integrity, but to be sure it is recyprocal, it can take time, normally when you are already hanging out with this person and things are more intimate in terms of acquaintanceship and confidence in each other, then it’s time, I think. The time to get into a relationship variates a lot, because it depends on the friendship you both have been cultivating, but mainly: it depends on the other person, some people take a long time to assume a relationship, others don’t, so unfortunately I can not measure that. What girls most seek among the qualities of a man is loyalty, good humour and respect towards her and the relationship. This is partly truth, it is not general but yes some women care about money, and nationality is never quoted or considered an important factor in terms of relationships, and many brazilian women get married with foreigners and leave Brazil to live with their husbands. I hope I have helped this time as well.

          • Vicomte

            Hi Ivi,

            I replied you right away, but I don’t know what happened to this long message in which I tried to show, with sad examples, how Brazilian men have been worse than the women, just trying to exploit me financially, being very hypocritical in spite of their apparent kindness, very jealous of foreign men who try to date Brazilian women and cannot therefore help them do so. They were the first people I tried to Interact with before turning to women.

            Are some messages censured here ? I would like to contact you privately and I don’t know if the message has been censured for this reason. Also, some young Brazilian guys I turned to in order to complaint about my loneliness suprisingly introduced me to old women (45-50 years old) that are always in the same bars every weekend, dancing and kissing anyone interested ? I have read the expression “meninas das baladas” on an online discussion, does it designate this type of women ? What do they do in bars every weekend ? If they are not “meninas das baladas”, what does this expression mean?

            I hope that my message will be published this time and to receive your reply as usual.

          • Ivi

            Hello again, Vicomte! I don’t know if the blog deals with censuring messages and comments, but I hope no. Some men indeed have complicated personalities and can be superficial, but I still think it is better to look forward male company than female, although it may not be working with you I must admit that for some reason you are dealing only with people who keep bad habits, it can also be an influence of the region you are living in.
            Yes, there are those types in bars and music clubs but at least where I live we don’t use this expression, but it is not wrong to define them like this. The costume of kissing people with no reason is really common here, as far as I know it is exclusivity of brazilian culture and it has no reason or explanation and we call it “ficar”, which is an habit I personally dislike. They go to bars to have fun or finding company, but probably just for one night. They can be defined as this, and it means “party girls”.
            If you want to send me emails my address is: ivillanunes@hotmail.com.